Phoenix, AZ Family Law Blog

When are custody fights battles worth their price?

2013-05-13T20:06:01Z

We all like to believe that if we do our best by our children that they will remain safely within our custody. However, divorce and other forms of parental separation can complicate this hope. If both of a child’s parents desire to have full, joint or partial child custody and cannot agree on the terms of that arrangement, a custody battle may be inevitable. And though securing trusted and experienced legal counsel can make the process much more fair and predictable, there are no guarantees.

Recently, the media has been abuzz with coverage of actress Kelly Rutherford’s custody battle for her children. The details are not largely important to this discussion beyond the facts that Rutherford has not been deemed an unfit parent, is fighting mightily for her children and has allegedly spent every last penny she has trying to get them back from their father’s custody and his residence in Europe.

]]> Rutherford’s struggle illustrates that even when parents are fit and want to remain solidly in their children’s lives that there are no guaranteed outcomes to contentious custody battles. These legal fights can cost an untold amount of time, money and emotional capacity. In the end, only each parent can know his or her limits, the best interests of the children involved and when to say ‘enough.’

If you are concerned that your child custody battle or potential legal conflict will push you or your children beyond your limits, please speak openly with an experienced family law attorney. Your legal counsel should be able to educate you about your options and help to support whatever decisions you ultimately opt to make.

Source: Huffington Post, “Custody Battles: Are They Worth the Fight?” Pauline Gaines, May 7, 2013

When divorcing, consider these child-related legal concerns

2013-05-09T13:47:03Z

If you are divorcing and minor children are in the picture, it is critical to be prepared for all the legal decisions you will soon need to make concerning them. Divorce is not generally straightforward when minor children are involved, simply because a multitude of considerations must be contemplated.

First, there is the issue of child custody. If both parents are going to remain in the child’s life, you may opt for joint physical and legal custody. However, there may be compelling reasons to seek primary or sole custody in either of these categories. In addition, if both parents will be active in the child’s life, you will likely be required to draft a parenting plan and determine what visitation or parenting time arrangements work best for you and your newly reorganized family.

]]> Second, there is the issue of child support. Generally child support formulas are fairly straightforward. But if your child has special needs, will soon be attending college or has a medical condition, the challenges you will face in drafting a child support agreement may be more intricate than usual.

Third, there is the potential issue of relocation to another state or country. If you or your child’s other parent plans to move, there are specific laws and considerations you will need to entertain in order to make sure that the move is legal and that your child remains safe.

Divorcing with minor children in the picture is rarely ever a straightforward process. However, if you retain experienced legal counsel who respects you and your relationship with your child, you will be better equipped to handle the process one piece of the puzzle at a time.

Source: Findlaw Law and Daily Life, “Top 10 Legal Issues for Single Moms,” Aditi Mukherji, May 6, 2013

Medical Marijuana and Your Child Custody Case

2013-05-06T22:06:31Z

In child custody litigation in Arizona Child Custody and Visitation Alcohol and Drug Abuse, many believe that if they possess a card permitting them to use marijuana for medicinal purposes, this will not compromise their child custody case. After all, it is legal and medically necessary right? Not so fast.

Although the legislature made medical marijuana legal here in Arizona, some judges still regard it as before - not acceptable to use when raising children or while the children are in a parents care. How will you know how your judge feels about medical marijuana use? How will you know what possible repercussions you could experience if it is discovered you use medical marijuana and you are engaged in a custody dispute? Contact an attorney at Lasiter & Jackson, PLLC to discuss your case. Our attorneys are experienced in litigating cases regarding this issue. At risk could be a loss of physical custody of your children, supervised parenting time and ongoing random drug tests beginning at 5:00 p.m. the after your first hearing - without prior notice. Sometimes one test positive for marijuana will drastically change your custody and parenting time. It is not worth the risk.

Post-divorce advice: Interacting with your child's stepparent

2013-04-28T18:19:01Z

Co-parenting can be a challenging process. However, if you and your child's other parent have shared custody or substantial visitation arrangements, you will both be required to work together frequently in the child's best interest. This task can become even more complicated when the additional family players otherwise known as step parents comprise part of the parenting picture.

Your child's step parent may be kind or nasty, cooperative or destructive, condescending or bashful. However, unless that individual is abusive or otherwise behaves in a way that you must shield your child from interacting with him or her, communicating effectively with your child's step parent will be critical to investing in your child's best interests.

]]> Just as you may need to with your co-parent, you may need to interact with your child's step parent as your would a business associate. If your business as a parent is to advocate and act upon your child's best interest, you may serve that purpose best by interacting with your child's step parent as another administrator in that company. This approach helps to keep strong emotions out of the situation and interactions professional, courteous and to the point.

Of course, if your co-parent marries a lovely person and your relationship can be more social than this approach allows for, please approach it as you see fit. But if the relationship is strained in any way, remaining calm, professional and keeping your child's best interest in the forefront of your mind will help to focus your interactions. For your own sanity and your child's sanity, it is critical that you learn to interact with his or her step parent effectively.

Source: Huffington Post, "Why You Should Be Nice To The Step Parent," Marina Sbrochi, Apr. 26, 2013

When your child's other parent craves conflict

2013-04-22T00:55:38Z

Couples choose to end their relationships for a variety of reasons. One common reason that American romantic relationships end is that high-conflict individuals tend to either break off relationships or inspire their partners to do so. After all, it can be truly difficult to enjoy life when your partner is consistently itching for a fight. Fortunately, an individual who does not crave conflict can choose to leave a partner who does. Unfortunately, splitting up does not always mean that you can leave your high-conflict partner behind.

In partnerships involving children, breaking up does not always ensure that the conflicts will end. When your complex custody situation involves a high-conflict co-parent, the stresses of your former partnership can begin to define your life as a single individual as well. Fortunately, you do have options to consider if you find yourself in this kind of situation.

]]> It is important to understand that your child's other parent does not necessarily have to remain in your life. Courts are bound to honor the "best interest of the child" standard. Therefore, if your high-conflict former partner is abusive or otherwise behaves in a way that harms your child, you may be able to seek sole custody.

However, if your co-parent will remain in your child's life, you do not have to let him or her have substantial control over yours. It is important that you and your attorney construct or modify your parenting agreement to reflect the ways in which your co-parent will be bound to address conflict resolution. Without this step, you may feel powerless when your co-parent harasses or bullies you. With legal provisions in place, you will be better prepared to have the courts enforce your conflict resolution strategy when your co-parent strays from provisions in your parenting plan.

Source: Huffington Post, "Narcissist Ex: How To Co-Parent With A High-Conflict Ex, According To Experts," Apr. 19, 2013

Instead of worrying about divorce or custody, speak up

2013-04-14T19:30:38Z

When you are navigating a divorce or grappling with a child custody, child support or domestic violence issue, it is normal to struggle with feelings of worry. However, it is advisable to deal with your urge to worry in a constructive way. Failure to do so can lead you to act in ways that may negatively impact the outcome of your divorce, custody or other family law matter. While worry is an understandable reaction to family-related stress, it will likely do you very little good to indulge it.

Famed author Lucy Maud Montgomery once said that "It only seems as if you're doing something when you worry." Worry takes a great deal of energy and focus. Unfortunately, it is only one's active response to worry that is constructive. Worry alone is almost never an answer to concern or problems in and of itself.

]]> Rather than spending your valuable time, energy and well-being worrying, address the core concerns fueling your worry. If you are anxious about matters directly related to custody, divorce or other family law proceedings, speak with your attorney and ask questions until your worry is alleviated. If you are concerned about how you or your kids are reacting to the stress in your life, seek out helpful books and advice from trusted sources.

When you fail to address worry head-on, it can grow and morph into a kind of emotional monster that sucks control away from you. You have the power to address your worries. When you do everything that you can do to be prepared and seek answers, all there is left to do is live life and see what comes. Worry is normal and understandable. But you do not have to give your energy and strength over to it.

Source: Huffington Post, "Stress Quotes: 7 Quotes To Help You Stop Stressing The Small Stuff Post-Split," Apr. 10, 2013

Keeping divorce manageable financially

2013-04-11T15:47:47Z

Unexpected and largely unwelcome life events can be costly. Certainly, individuals can learn valuable lessons that eventually enhance their lives when they become ill, suffer injury, lose a job or choose to divorce. However, these events are almost always stressful and financially costly in their immediate aftermath. There are not always clear ways to remain financially stable during illness, injury or job loss. However, individuals can take steps to remain financially stable during and in the wake of divorce.

First and most importantly, it is critical to think past the moment and into the future when making divorce-related financial decisions. For example, it may be more cost effective in the immediate to avoid retaining experienced legal counsel and largely completing divorce paperwork by yourself.

]]> However, this decision can result in devastating consequences in the long run. Placing your resources in the care of someone who understands the consequences that certain property division, debt and asset treatment will have upon your future will almost certainly save you a great deal of money over time.

Second, it is important not to let your emotions rule your decisions. Think of your divorce largely as a business decision for your "Rest of my life" company. It is important to compromise in divorce negotiations, but avoid giving in on important assets because of guilt, fatigue or a desire to avoid conflict. Your future self and your financial future need you to fight for what will be important while you can.

Divorce-related financial considerations must be made with a wide lens. There are many things you can do to keep costs low during the process, but all important decisions must be made with the future in mind. A sound financial foundation upon divorce will serve you far better than pinching pennies will during the process itself.

Source: Huffington Post, "Divorce Advice: 23 Small Things That Will Cost You Big Time In Divorce," Apr. 5, 2013

Community or Separate Property? Division of Assets in Arizona

2013-04-08T17:16:18Z

As a general rule, property division in an Arizona divorce or legal separation, awards each party their 1/2 share of the community property, subject to certain exceptions, and each party is awarded their respective separate property.

Property acquired during marriage is presumed to be community property. Property Division Separate property is typically defined as property obtained prior to marriage or obtained during marriage via gift or inheritance. While separate property remains the sole and separate property of a spouse, there is Arizona case law which permits the community to gain an equitable lien in the separate property of the other spouse. In some cases, a payout for the community value of the equity in the separate asset will be paid.

A typical instance in which the community may gain an equitable lien in the separate property of a spouse is when one spouse mixes community time and labor with their separate funds. For example, you may have one spouse whose primary business during marriage is to take his sole and separate funds and engage in hard money lending. He spends all of his working day engaged in this activity. Under this scenario, the community has an equitable lien in the profits and business because of the community labor that was involved. "Arizona courts have long agreed that the results of a spouse's labor are community property." Rueschenberg v. Rueschenberg, 219 Ariz. 249, 252, 196 P.2d 852, 855 (2008). The Court in Rueschenberg went on to say, "[W]here either spouse is engaged in a business whose capital is the separate property of such spouse, the profits of the business are either community or separate in accordance with whether they are the result of the individual toil and application of the spouse, or the inherent qualities of the business itself." Id. at 257, 860. Other examples include when a husband may own a house at the time of the marriage, but the couple may share responsibility for mortgage payments and home upkeep, using a joint checking account or other co-owned funds. Or a wife may own investments which the couple adds to during the marriage using "community funds," or in other words, jointly-owned financial assets.

MEDIATION FOR DIVORCE AND FAMILY LAW CASES

2013-03-28T17:29:59Z

Why is mediation a good idea?

Being faced with divorce, legal separation and child custody disputes can be overwhelming. There are numerous issues to consider including finances, homes, retirement, debts, family support, parenting time and child support. These issues can cause good people to become nasty adversaries.

A popular saying amongst lawyers and judges is that in criminal law we see the worst people on their best behavior and in family law we see the best people on their worst behavior.

Because of this, mediation can be a good alternative. When a marriage or family is breaking apart, it is rarely helpful to add the adversarial nature of the Court into the mix. This is especially true when dealing with children.

Mediation gives people the opportunity to take charge of their own situation and make their own decisions. With the guidance of a qualified mediator, agreements can be reached that leave both parties satisfied and can accomplish an on-going working relationship that will allow them to both continue to be great parents.

Couples can work together with a professional mediator to resolve all of the issues involved in their family court case. Our mediators make sure that both parties make fully informed decisions about their children, assets (such as real estate, investment accounts, and retirement benefits), their debts, family support, etc. By mediating, couples do not surrender control to attorneys or a judge. Our mediators provide the legal, financial, parenting, and other information needed to make fully informed decisions - and divorcing couples decide what is best for them based on their particular relationship, needs, and standards. Mediation takes place in a safe, collaborative environment, and is significantly less stressful than adversarial, win-lose court-based proceedings.

At Lasiter & Jackson, PLLC, our mediators' expertise comes more than 30years of combined legal experience along with being trained mediators. We ensure that you understand all of the legal, financial, parenting, and other issues involved in your situation. We can also help you to effectively communicate and negotiate, explore alternative ways of resolving disagreements, and deal with the anger, sadness and other emotions common to separation and divorce. After a couple has decided everything, our mediators are able to prepare a comprehensive and legally binding settlement agreement.

Mediation is very inexpensive alternative when compared with using two separate lawyers, who require retainers of no less than $3,500.00 from each spouse. Many divorces can wind up costing divorcing couples $27,000 or more in combined fees. By mediating, couples can save money, time and energy. If you are interested in mediation a family law dispute, please contact Phoenix-area attorneys Lasiter & Jackson, PLLC.

Navigating a marriage-less 'divorce'

2013-03-27T17:05:36Z

The construction of the "typical" American family is changing. Fewer young couples in particular are opting to marry each other. Rather, these cohabitating couples live lives together that are often as financially and socially intertwined as that of married couples while foregoing the legal formality of marriage. These cohabitating couples often face unique challenges when they decide to split.

First, if the couple has any children, custody and support arrangements must be made just as they must for divorcing couples. However, these arrangements may be more challenging to navigate if one of the parents is not biologically tied to the child or if paternity has never been formally established.

]]> Second, the division of property, assets, support income and debt can be complex. When couples marry, their income and debt from "I do" onward is generally considered jointly held. However, cohabitating couples do not benefit and become constrained by such a bright line. Determining how to divide joint property, assets and debt begins with an exploration of who owns, is entitled to or may be held responsible for these things in the first place. That exploration is often more complicated when couples have never married.

The law favors the best interests of children and the property rights of adults whether or not marriage has taken place. Therefore, it is critical for cohabitating couples to consult an experienced attorney upon dissolution of their relationship. Failure to do so could lead to an unfair "divorce" from the relationship in terms of both property division and child-related issues.

Source: New York Observer, "No Divorce Is the New Divorce: Moms and Dads Navigate Messy Breakups in Marriage-less World," Rose Surnow, Mar. 19, 2013

Nervous about post-divorce parenting? Get excited!

2013-03-25T20:28:42Z

When a marriage is ending and children are involved, it is completely reasonable for the entire family to be concerned about what the future holds. Luckily, whether you and your spouse opt for shared custody, a complicated visitation agreement or any other model of parenting, there are reasons to get excited about newly single parenthood.

Earlier this month, parents everywhere celebrated National Single Parent Day. Though it is not a well known holiday, it is an important one. Single parents contribute to their children's upbringing in unique and critical ways. It is a challenging job, but one that you can truly grow to love.

]]> As a single parent, you have the ability to make independent choices about how you want to parent. Of course, if your child's other parent remains a significant part of his or her life, you must take your former spouse's role into consideration when making certain choices. But if you and your child are spending the day together and you want to take in a movie and the batting cages, you can hop in the car and go. If you want your child to try an exotic new food, you can find a fun way to introduce it. As a single parent, you can truly embrace your own style of parenting during your time with your child without a great deal of compromise with another adult.

In addition, the stresses that led to the end of your marriage need no longer define your relationship with your child. As you move into newly single parenthood, you and your child can live a less-stressful and more joyful version of your relationship. Though single parenthood can be truly challenging, it can also be uniquely rewarding.

Source: Huffington Post, "Single Parents Share The Best Things About Parenting Solo," Mar. 21, 2013

Avoid these preventable divorce mistakes

2013-03-20T14:58:36Z

We frequently acknowledge and honor how challenging divorce can be. However, some of the biggest mistakes people make in divorce include believing that they have no control over the process's outcome and that the process must be deeply stressful. Divorce marks a significant transition between periods of a person's life. The majority of how the process will affect a person's life is truly up to him or her.

When trying to avoid unnecessary pain or drama caused by the divorce process, it is critical to keep your emotions in check. That is not to say that you should avoid grieving, fail to get angry or deny feeling overwhelmed. On the contrary, it is beneficial for you to express these emotions in healthy ways so that they do not overtake your divorce negotiations.

]]> If you allow your emotions to overtake the process, you could be tempted to give in to your spouse's demands on issues that matter to you or you could be tempted to sabotage a process that is advancing fairly amicably. The truth of the matter is that only you can control your part in the process and only you can determine how the process will affect you.

It is advisable to build up as much support and time for self-care during this time as possible. Punching a weighted bag at the gym may keep you from feeling the need to bang your fists on the negotiating table. Speaking with a trusted friend, therapist or online community can help you avoid venting in court. Divorce can be undeniably challenging. But how that challenge is met is ultimately up to you.

Source: Huffington Post, "The 5 Worst Mistakes We Make During A Divorce," Dr. Jeff Gardere, Feb. 18, 2013

Regaining your financial footing post-divorce

2013-03-07T16:00:15Z

Signed divorce papers do not quite signal the end of the divorce process. Certainly, when you are formally divorced, a page in the book of your life is turned. However, the terms of your divorce settlement will impact your financial life after divorce. Therefore, the divorce process extends into the transition period wherein you regain your financial footing, independence and move into a place of stability.

Ideally, your divorce attorney will have helped you secure adequate assets to maintain your lifestyle and plan for your future. However, the present must be dealt with and the future planned for regardless of your property settlement terms. And unfortunately, a recent study initiated by ING indicates that the average married person has $10,000 more saved for retirement than the average divorced person does.

]]> Therefore, it is critical that you use the transition period between divorce and whatever your future holds for you next to take a financial snapshot of your retirement savings and create a plan to ensure a bright financial future.

It is entirely possible that your spouse has handled the retirement planning until this point. Do not allow the novelty of this task to overwhelm you. Rather, consult books, trusted Internet sites, podcasts and financial planners. When you educate yourself, you will be more empowered to make the best financial decisions for your particular situation.

Financial planning post-divorce can be challenging. But your future self will thank you for taking the time and energy to invest in your future, now that your financial situation has changed significantly.

Source: CNN Money, "Rebuild your nest egg after a divorce," Beth Braverman, Feb. 21, 2013

Supreme Court settles international custody question

2013-03-04T16:07:47Z

Though the practical implications of the holding remain to be seen, the United States Supreme Court recently affirmed the ability of American courts to assert authority in international child custody disputes. In the matter of complex custody heard by the Court, there is no guarantee that American court assertion will ultimately affect the outcome of the situation. However, the Court has confirmed that Americans in like-situations have permission to keep filing appeals and fighting for the custody of their children on an international stage.

The Court considered the specific custody dispute of an army sergeant. He married a foreign citizen when he was stationed overseas. The family returned to the United States and had a little girl. However, when the couple decided to divorce an American court granted the child's mother permission to take her to Scotland.

]]> The sergeant appealed that decision, but by the time the appeal moved through the system, it was deemed to be "moot" because the little girl had been overseas for more than a year and American courts have little say in whether a Scottish court would or would not choose to send the child back to the U.S.

The Supreme Court held that the appeal should be tried on its merits, regardless of the outcome. Even if American courts cannot ultimately dictate action to Scottish courts, the sergeant has standing to have his appeal be heard and ruled upon. In the end, the Court chose to honor the "live dispute between the parties over where their child will be raised," and the "possibility of effectual relief for the prevailing parent."

Though the Court's holding does not guarantee a positive outcome for parents in like-situations, it allows for justice to be granted in live disputes and for hope to continue throughout the appeals process. Few things in life are as challenging as fighting for the custody of a child who has been taken across borders. The Supreme Court has honored that challenge and the possibility of a fair outcome, even if it cannot dictate the actions of foreign courts.

Source: Fox News, "Supreme Court says Army dad must be heard in custody battle for daughter," Perry Chiaramonte, Feb. 19, 2013

When teens react strongly to news of divorce

2013-02-24T18:48:11Z

Teens are biologically programmed to rebel against their parents. Between childhood and adulthood, teens must push boundaries and explore ways that they are distinct from their parents until they learn how to safely stand on their own feet. However, acts of teenage rebellion and angst are not often welcome contributions to a complex custody situation. In fact, an understandably rebellious teen may make child custody disputes even more complicated than they already are.

Teens may react to divorce with a variety of emotions. And should the teen blame one or more of his or her parents for the divorce itself, he or she may act out in ways that affect a child custody dispute. Most of the time, teens will be relieved when the process is settled and will adjust without much trouble. But they may become vocal players in the process before divorce and child custody arrangements are finalized.

]]> As a result of this complex web of emotions, family politics and pure biology, it is important to address your teen's reaction to your divorce head-on. If he or she would benefit from counseling or other support, it is important to allow for that need. In addition, it is important to hear what your child is saying to you, even if the words and actions associated with his or her message are unkind.

In the end, whatever child custody arrangements you land on must be inspired by the best interest of your teen. This arrangement may or may not be their preferred choice. However, you should be on the lookout for acts of sabotage, should you advocate for their best interests in a way that they do not prefer. Chances are that their intentions are not bad ones, but understandable or not, you cannot ensure that their best interests are served if they are attempting to sabotage your efforts behind your back.

Source: Huffington Post, "'Hell No: I Won't Go'," Edward D. Farber, Feb. 9, 2013