Approaching a divorce you never saw coming

Some divorces are mutually decided upon, whereas others are thrust upon one partner by another. It is possible that if you are currently facing a divorce, you may not want to separate from your partner and/or you may have been shocked when he or she announced that divorce was the next step you would be taking in your marriage.

If this has happened to you, the accompanying shock, betrayal, confusion, sadness and/or anger can cloud your judgment very understandably. However, you must begin now to work through those emotions in order to avoid several mistakes people make in divorce when they are not the spouse who has insisted that this step must be taken.

When individuals do not see their partner’s discontent coming, they often react emotionally in divorce and child custody proceedings. They may give valuable property away because they are feeling exhausted and defeated. Or they may react in anger and drag out the process, draining their finances along the way. In almost every scenario, people making mistakes in divorce do so because they are reacting emotionally rather than as objectively as possible.

Certainly, it is not possible to completely eliminate your emotions from the process, nor should you. However, if your emotional state threatens to compromise your future financial, property or parenting goals, you need to re-evaluate what support you need to get you through the process and refocus on what you need to do now to secure a brighter future eventually. If you are unsure of how to begin this refocusing process, do not hesitate to ask your divorce attorney for advice.

Source: Huffington Post, “Heartbreaking Facts: What If the Divorce Was Not Your Idea?” Alison Heller, June 4, 2013

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