Keep this in mind when helping your kids cope with divorce

Like many in Arizona and beyond, when you got married, you likely had numerous dreams and goals regarding your future life with your spouse. Perhaps the two of you made plans to start a business together or wanted to try to have children right away to expand your family size. As the years went on, you no doubt lived through a wide range of experiences together, with some more memorable than others. 

One thing you might never have expected was that you would one day get divorced. However, since that has become a soon-to-be reality in your life, you want to leave the past behind and focus on keeping your children's best interests in mind as you move on in life together. By keeping a few useful ideas in mind, you can help them through their tough times and set the tone for a successful future.   

It's not "will" your divorce impact your kids but "how" 

There's no getting around the fact that your divorce will impact your children's lives. The following information provides insight into issues that apply to most kids when their parents decide to end their marital relationships: 

  • Children may not initially share their parents' opinions that divorce is a good thing. In fact, they might get angry or sad and may show signs of regression or rebelliousness for a time.
  • Children need to know they can express their feelings without worrying that their parents will be upset. 
  • Some kids worry that because their parents no longer want a relationship with each other, they will also no longer want a relationship with them. 
  • Most children are resilient and adaptable by nature and will take their cues from their parents as to how to come to terms with divorce and move on in life.  

Hopefully you and your children are used to having family talks and sharing emotions and ideas, especially when life becomes challenging. However, even if each person in your family tends to keep his or her feelings private, that doesn't mean you can't help your kids cope with divorce. You can do other things to show your support. 

Support is readily available for you as well

If you feel exhausted, lonely, worried or angry all the time, you won't be much help to your kids. That's why it's equally important to make sure you reach out for support when you feel burdened by the stress of your divorce. If your kids see that you're not afraid to accept help from others, they will be more likely to do so as well.  

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