It is not unusual to have difficulty communicating with an ex spouse regarding visitation/parenting time and custody issues. (shared custody). Often times, individuals have different ideas on how to parent, what is appropriate and what are desirable and undesirable parenting skills and decisions. However, this is the reality when parenting in two different households, and one must learn to deal with same for the best interests of the children.

When high conflict situations and disagreements arise (life after divorce), a helpful concept to remember is to communicate messages in a brief, informative, friendly and firm manner. Unless a Court order states specific manners in which the parties must communicate, or the order specifies options one party needs to give to the other party, make it simple. For example, "I am taking the kids to a family barbeque this weekend (brief). The barbeque is at my aunt Nancy's house from 1:00 until 5:00 p.m. I can be contacted on my cell during that time (informative). Have a nice day" (friendly and, in totality, the entire message is firm). This style of communication closes a lot of doors for one to engage in an argument.

Another tactic to ease communication are computer programs that track message and response content and time. For high conflict cases, look to communication programs such as Some of these programs will also somewhat rewrite messages to remove negative and inflammatory words, remarks and the like.

When one retains an attorney, we also aid in minimizing communication that is neither proactive nor productive in resolving problems. Remember that bad, confrontational and aggressive communication is almost always known and hurtful to the children.

In order to deal with these issues and others, the attorneys at LASITER & JACKSON, PLLC are extremely helpful. If going to court, know that judges hate mudslinging and this type of adversarial communication. In Arizona, if a judge perceives one party to be unnecessarily aggressive, unreasonable and combative, the judge may be inclined to award the other party sole legal decision-making. Do not risk it. Feel free to know your rights and exposure by calling us at 602-234-5900 to schedule a consultation.

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