It's normal to feel discombobulated by divorce. Here are 16 small, everyday things that can help:. 1. Let yourself off the hook. Breakfast for dinner, leftovers for lunch and an extra hour in bed while the Disney channel babysat my kids. There is too much pressure on women to be everything to everyone all of the time. When you are dealing with divorce, you must let yourself off the hook a little."2. Reach out to your family. Reconnect to your family - it will make all the difference in the world.3. Allow yourself a 20 minute pity party. A little trick of scheduling your sorrow can help you vent, but keep the sadness from overtaking your entire day.4. Cut out negative people, pronto. You go through a roller coaster of emotions during a divorce -- you don't need anyone's dark cloud adding to your baggage.5. Learn the meaning of 'pick you battles' when it comes to your ex. If an issue arises concerning my child, engage. If it's an issue carried over from the marriage, why give it head space?6. Do all of the things your ex held you back from doing. Get a cat, vacation in Mexico, stay up way past midnight watching bad TV, eat copious amounts of chunky peanut butter-- in bed -- with a giant serving spoon -- right out of the jar. 7. Join a divorce support group. You can say anything, no matter how horrible, and not be judged.8. Take a trip alone. Even if it's just a day trip, it's proof that you can get around just fine on your own.9. Do not pretend you are OK. Self-explanatory.10. Delete all your ex's shows from TiVo. Self-explanatory.11. Yoga and/or meditation. Take a yoga and meditation class. It teaches you simply how to breathe and find peace at a time when everything feels like it is crashing down around you. 12. Make like-minded friends. Make friends with other people who were divorced or in the process of divorce. You don't have to leave your old friends behind post-split but there are just some things that your married friends won't understand. Source: Brittany Wong, The Huffington Post.
Divorce is difficult. It's not just your marital status that changes -- your entire life shifts. 1) You will mourn -- it is a huge loss. Even if you wanted to divorce, you will mourn. You have lost a significant relationship, as well as your status, identity, image, and more. The future you envisioned and strived for has ended. You could try to see this loss as a gain -- you've gained power, freedom, autonomy, and a new identity. It is essential that you go through the mourning process. If you move on as if nothing ever happened, it may come back to haunt you, sometimes in disguise. 2) If you have children with your ex it is essential to accept that your ex will be a part of your life, and that you to learn to co-parent in a healthy manner. You have a responsibility to raise your children with your ex, keeping the children's best interests in mind. Effective co-parenting, with no agenda (other than your children's well-being), is crucial.3) You won't be "single" again. You will be "divorced." Divorce doesn't just mean that the ring comes off your finger, and you have to check the "divorced" box in government documents. People may look at you differently, with a "poor you" smile, along with a "you'll make it" jovial punch in the arm. i4) Your social life will change. It can take time to learn who you true friends are as opposed to those who are acquaintances disguised as close friends (only around for the good times!). 5) Anger will raise its ugly head -- in both of you. There will be some anger, resentments and blame. In the aftermath of divorce, despite how far you've each moved on, there may be thoughts and even words such as "This is the thanks I get for all I did," "I stood by you; you didn't stand by me," "I wasted [insert number of years] with you," etc. It doesn't matter if you're happy or relieved about that loss. Part of loss and the mourning process is feeling your anger. But for your own well-being, you have to deal with the stages, and move from anger into acceptance.
DIVORCE MYTHS - Debunked!