Posts tagged "divorce process"

How social media can impact your divorce

A majority of people on this planet are active on social media. Specifically, according to Pew Research Center, 74 percent of the adults that are online are engaged on social networking sites. So, it's not surprising that social media posts are now being used by divorce attorneys in court cases.

7 DIVORCE REALITIES

Divorce is difficult. It's not just your marital status that changes -- your entire life shifts. 1) You will mourn -- it is a huge loss. Even if you wanted to divorce, you will mourn. You have lost a significant relationship, as well as your status, identity, image, and more. The future you envisioned and strived for has ended.  You could try to see this loss as a gain -- you've gained power, freedom, autonomy, and a new identity.  It is essential that you go through the mourning process. If you move on as if nothing ever happened, it may come back to haunt you, sometimes in disguise. 2) If you have children with your ex it is essential to accept that your ex will be a part of your life, and that you to learn to co-parent in a healthy manner. You have a responsibility to raise your children with your ex, keeping the children's best interests in mind. Effective co-parenting, with no agenda (other than your children's well-being), is crucial.3) You won't be "single" again. You will be "divorced." Divorce doesn't just mean that the ring comes off your finger, and you have to check the "divorced" box in government documents.  People may look at you differently, with a "poor you" smile, along with a "you'll make it" jovial punch in the arm. i4) Your social life will change. It can take time to learn who you true friends are as opposed to those who are acquaintances disguised as close friends (only around for the good times!). 5) Anger will raise its ugly head -- in both of you. There will be some anger, resentments and blame. In the aftermath of divorce, despite how far you've each moved on, there may be thoughts and even words such as "This is the thanks I get for all I did," "I stood by you; you didn't stand by me," "I wasted [insert number of years] with you," etc.  It doesn't matter if you're happy or relieved about that loss. Part of loss and the mourning process is feeling your anger. But for your own well-being, you have to deal with the stages, and move from anger into acceptance.

Instead of worrying about divorce or custody, speak up

When you are navigating a divorce or grappling with a child custody, child support or domestic violence issue, it is normal to struggle with feelings of worry. However, it is advisable to deal with your urge to worry in a constructive way. Failure to do so can lead you to act in ways that may negatively impact the outcome of your divorce, custody or other family law matter. While worry is an understandable reaction to family-related stress, it will likely do you very little good to indulge it.

Keeping divorce manageable financially

Unexpected and largely unwelcome life events can be costly. Certainly, individuals can learn valuable lessons that eventually enhance their lives when they become ill, suffer injury, lose a job or choose to divorce. However, these events are almost always stressful and financially costly in their immediate aftermath. There are not always clear ways to remain financially stable during illness, injury or job loss. However, individuals can take steps to remain financially stable during and in the wake of divorce.

Avoid these preventable divorce mistakes

We frequently acknowledge and honor how challenging divorce can be. However, some of the biggest mistakes people make in divorce include believing that they have no control over the process's outcome and that the process must be deeply stressful. Divorce marks a significant transition between periods of a person's life. The majority of how the process will affect a person's life is truly up to him or her.

Regaining your financial footing post-divorce

Signed divorce papers do not quite signal the end of the divorce process. Certainly, when you are formally divorced, a page in the book of your life is turned. However, the terms of your divorce settlement will impact your financial life after divorce. Therefore, the divorce process extends into the transition period wherein you regain your financial footing, independence and move into a place of stability.

Plan ahead to keep your divorce out of court

The divorce process does not have to be messy and drawn-out. Certainly, some marital situations require a contested and relatively intense process. However, many if not most uncontested divorce processes do not require the same kind of time, energy and resources that complex divorce scenarios do. In order to facilitate a smooth divorce process whenever possible, it is important for divorcing couples to plan ahead before digging into the most challenging aspects of the process.

High-asset divorces impacted by new tax regulations

Attorneys and accountants have recently felt a push to behave in an increasingly collaborative fashion. Due to tax increases mandated by certain provisions of the American Taxpayer Relief Act, those navigating high-asset divorce proceedings are almost certainly in need of both experienced legal counsel and experienced financial counsel.

Approaching the divorce process proactively to aid affected kids

Deciding to end a marriage is almost never an easy process. When children will be affected by that decision, it can become even more complicated. Thankfully, more and more parents are becoming educated about several divorce planning techniques designed to help affected children transition through the divorce process in a healthy way.

Managing divorce's dark side so that it does not get the best of you

A few weeks ago, we discussed a study out of the University of Arizona at Tucson which determined that repeated journaling on negative emotions associated with divorce tends to reinforce these feelings rather than help the author move through them. The subject of stress-management and emotional healing during and following divorce is critical. However, many individuals are unsure of where to start. If dwelling too long on the negative can harm you and not dealing with the negative at all can harm you, where is the balance in processing divorce in a healthy way?

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